when "no" = healing

I recently underwent allergy testing, as well as a septoplasty, to try to find the cause of too many months worth of sinus infections In the least, I thought I’d have allergens to grass, pollens, molds…things that were out of my grasp to totally change my exposure to. When the results of my tests came back I was in shock, and in clear denial, of the allergens that were affecting me. I had my hopes on the surgery being the cure all that would be a quick fix to my misery, not the changing my life by eliminating the things that were affecting me fix. I tested positive for cats, dogs, dust, molds, trees, weeds, peanuts, dairy, eggs & wheat. All I could think of was how clearly out of tune I was with my body that I didn’t know how the things I consume on a daily basis, bothered me. Never did I see an immediate reaction after eating peanut butter, drinking milk, or petting my animals. Obviously, that quick fix answer I was looking for was way off the horizon for me.

I did have the surgery done, and it did help a bit, but it hasn’t been the cure I was looking for. So that meant I had to re-examine my reality and ask myself just how much I wanted to feel better. Shortly after finding the results of my tests, I took to Facebook to complain and gripe about how I couldn’t have this and couldn’t have that. One of the responses back was to look at it as a period of giving my body a chance to heal by eliminating the things that bothered me. I liked that idea - but…..was it just another quick fix that I was looking for? Eliminate the allergens for awhile and then I’d be able to eat them again? I started out by eliminating a few things, and picking and choosing what I would allow in, even if I was allergic to it. But something still didn’t feel right. I was still depressed and overwhelmed at the thought of the “I can’t have this anymore” mentality. Eliminating was still such a burden, but at what cost to my body was I willing to pay to have those allergens back in my life just to make it easier on me?

By Gods grace I felt a little bit better by the “pick and choose elimination diet” I had started for myself. And by that same grace, He got a hold of me and asked me “what is My best for you?” I paired that with the statement of how staying away from the foods that were allergens, was healing to my body. Then I realized that I was doing myself a huge disservice by my griping and complaining, and by only eliminating certain things. At this very same time, I had a friend talk to me about asking God for healing from my allergies, and maybe attending a prayer service for deliverance from them. Immediately I knew that wasn’t the plan for me. I knew that God could heal me, but that it wasn’t meant to be a healing of miraculous deliverance. Don’t get me wrong, I believe God can (and does) do those things, but I also know He doesn’t do them all that time. When it is in His will, when it is best for the person who’s sick, He’ll do it that way. But for me, and God’s will for me, I think God wants me to go on a journey with Him.

When I accepted this, and really believed it to be God’s plan, a whole attitude shift happened. All of a sudden I was coming up with easy made up recipes in my head, of foods I could consume, and I didn’t miss the other things as much. And more importantly, I wasn’t griping and complaining as often as before. Instead of resisting the diet plan, I embraced it, and it got so much easier. And God has opened my eyes to that fact that He IS healing me…by giving me His best. His best for my body is to consume a wheat free, dairy free, peanut free and egg free diet. By the time next year comes around I may not have been miraculously delivered from food allergies, but I will have been healed from them. And not only that, I know that I know that by seeking this healing for my physical body, by seeking His best for my physical body, I will be gaining healing in other areas. How much can God grow me up just by disciplining me in the things I should eat for my body? How much more can I learn about seeking Him when I start out here? How many layers can He unpeel and strip away when I am daily leaning on Him and His best for me? It starts with the little things, and then He does the rest.

I am currently on allergy shots for the dog, cat, molds and tree allergens, and although it’s not an easy fix, in a few years my body will have built up enough tolerance that they won’t affect me anymore. As for the foods, the only easy fix is to avoid them altogether. In my own strength and power that is overwhelming, but when I am seeking for Gods best for me, I know that it means a whole lot more than just not having this, and not having that!