Thanksgiving (even when it's not)

My uncle, Tony, is here visiting from CT. The thing that makes this visit a special one is that it will be his last time to visit us. We found out a couple of months ago that he has cancer, and has so much of it, that there is nothing they can do to treat it. He was given about 6 months left to live. After hearing the news of that, my aunt and I talked about how we could make his last months on earth better ones.

There is not much family left and none that live close to him. The closest being my aunt in Maine. Before my mom passed away he used to come to TN for the holidays to be with us. Those days meant a lot to him. After she passed he came back once, but it wasn't for the holidays.
To think that he possibly would not make it until the holidays approached this year, we thought it would be nice for him to come and relive the family experience once again. So on Friday we will all gather round and have Thanksgiving dinner in honor of him.

Since my mom died I have not been as fond of Thanksgiving as I used to be. It just hasn't meant the same and it makes me the most sad of all the holidays that she is no longer here. Come Friday, though, our own little Thanksgiving Day will hold more meaning. I won't dwell on how every other family around town is gathered with their mother, but I won't be with mine. I won't become sad to think about the traditions, that once seemed so corny, now I would give anything for. And I won't take another year for granted.

Instead I will be grateful that I myself have one more opportunity to make Tony's life a richer one by sharing my young family with him. I will be playing a part in extending acceptance and what it means to be with family with him. And I will be embedding memories that I'm sure he'll gleam from when his last days approach. And for my own benefit the day will not be a selfish one where all I can think about is my loss. It will be a day of GIVING, which is what it is supposed to be.

Last year Tony did not come for his almost annual TN. visit. I don't exactly know or remember all of the reasons why, but I know something in me assumed he would be able to return again the next year or year after that. But he, just as we all are not, guaranteed the next year (or even day) to carry on when we need to take a break.

This will be the first year since my mom died that I can pull out some of her dishes and use them with a smile instead of a frown. And the only way that was able to happen was by looking away from my own pain onto what I could give. Now who else is also getting a gift?

This is a gift I will take with me into future Thanksgivings and holidays. A gift that simply says to live in the moment instead of mourning the past or expecting from the future.