Are You Mistaken?

Those of you who read my blog regularly, will surely enjoy checking out this blog http://beautifulstrangerami.blogspot.com/ It belongs to a former teacher of mine, my teacher from 7th grade. It's been 20 years since I've been in the 7th grade, yet we still keep in touch. In fact, she even flew to TN. to be at my wedding, then again after Ryan was born. Unfortunately, it's been that long since I've seen her, but I'm thankful we still email every so often. I can already tell that hers will be an encouraging blog.



She was my favorite teacher, but that wasn't always the case. She tells the story by saying she recognized my heart from the first day of school. I don't know how because I was just at the point of turning into an angry teenager. I was bitter and guarded, and thought I was doing a good job at staying that way. She used to annoy the dickens out of me. I couldn't always pinpoint why, but in looking back it was because she wasn't buying it and it only frustrated me even more. I remember a time where she left a note on my desk to meet me in her office during lunch. In all probability I had done something stupid to deserve it, I don't remember the reason, all I remember is staring across her desk feeling foiled in my attempts of keeping my guard....and mad as double hockey sticks! I don't even think I opened up much, but I knew she had me pinned. I still have that note tucked away in my memory box. It was written with a green pen onto a yellow square piece of paper. She even put a smiley face next to her initials....which made me even more furious!



Back then I thought of myself as a pretty clever shell that surely no one would break. My stubbornness only aided in my efforts. I remember how tough I thought I looked when wore a pin that said "you must have me mistaken for someone who cares." Well, I quickly learned who else was stubborn!! She made me take that pin down ASAP! In fact, that could have been the reason I had to go to the office.....I'm just not sure. 20 years is a long time to remember exact details!!



It doesn't really matter. What matters is that after that stupid pin incident I knew in my heart that she was someone who really cared and someone who honestly "got me." It was many years later that she revealed she knew things that were going on with me before I even knew them. She saw the "All I Ever Wanted" within me.

Do you ever have those looks with someone where you look at them and it feels like they have been staring at you for a day? Not looking at you, but looking through you? To this day I can still remember that look. We were in the sanctuary practicing for a play when I looked down at her to find that look. It took me to get into my adult years before I was able to reflect back on that time and truly understand all that happened that year.



It was in the 7th grade that a seed was nurtured, watered and given the permission to grow into it's rightful being. Granted I've needed a lot of windows opened in my life since then, but she's one who gets the credit for being a door opener. She opened the door so that windows could be opened.



When school ended, the time came for awards to be given and I surely didn't qualify for perfect attendance or honor roll. Instead, I received an honor that I still carry with me....in physical paper and through my daily living. That honor is....a sensitive heart....and the tangible thing she gave me to always remember it was a red heart shaped cardboard cutout of a heart that simply reads, "I CARE".



Thank you, Mrs. P, for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. From one sensitive heart to another - thank you for not giving up on me when you had many reasons to, and for still being in my life today. It makes me so proud for you to see and for me to tell you that yes, I AM somebody who cares.