Always Keep Your Chin Up: Hand In/Hand Over Hand

About this blog

The road of life can be so many things at so many different times. One minute you're on a smooth straightway, zipping through without a care in the world. The next minute, you are at a crossroads, wondering which road to go on. Then you find yourself climbing up a steep slope wondering if you'll ever make it to the top, only to find that the top is full of nothing but bumps and potholes. You tell yourself, "you can't stop now, you must go on" because soon there is bound to be straight and smooth paths again. You can see the prize at the end, but while you are on the path, you must not forget to..."Keep Your Chin Up."

Ryan & Autism

I started this blog primarily for the subject of autism, but as the years have gone on, it has morphed into other areas. My hope is that by sharing a little about our lives, whatever the topic may be, we will be touching a part of someone esle and telling them that they are not alone.

My 9 year old son, Ryan, has autism. I started this blog as a way for me to have an outlet to connect, express and, hopefully, receive feedback on life as we know it. Raising a child with a disability can be a very isolating experience. The only way to do it, and to stay sane, is to "keep your chin up."

It's also a way for me to be able to spread a little awareness out there by sharing the kind of typical things we go through. I think you'll find we are more like a typical family, than not.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hand In/Hand Over Hand

Dave and I have been looking at our wedding pictures a lot since the death of his best friend. Dave's friend, Darren, was the best man at our wedding. While looking through photos and reliving the memories from that day, I noticed a picture of me with a very close friend, Sam. The picture was taken right after Sam gave me my wedding handkerchief. Sam has known me on and off since I was around 11 years old. She has been a lifesaver to me throughout my life, and it meant the world to me that she was there for my wedding.

I have looked at this picture many, many times over the past 9 years, but have never looked at it the way I did the other day. Take a look at our hands. We are holding hands, you might say. Yes, but there is more to it than that. If you take a closer look you might see that she is holding one of my hands, and I am holding one of her hands. That really, really struck me and got me thinking deeper about friendships, and especially now, after Dave just lost his best friend.

One of the things that keeps friends together for so long is that they are there for each other. I think it would be more than fair to say that Sam has been there for me many more times than I've been there for her. And looking at that picture is a huge reminder that I need to reciprocate to her (and all of my friends) more often. We all have friends that do so much for us, but how much are we giving back? There are so many people in my life that I take for granted. It's easy to take and take, but how often am I leaving myself open for someone to take from me? I don't want to be someone who always has their hand held, I want to be one that reaches out to hold a hand.

One of the definitions of friendship is: friendly feeling or disposition. Hmmm, I'm not crazy about the friendly feeling one. Looking deep within I can see that there have been times I didn't "feel" like being a friend. And to me, that is not what friendship is. Now, the disposition part I like. If I stay in that disposition despite my feelings, than that, to me, is more of a friend. So remember next time you are with your friends, get in position- one hand in, one hand over!

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A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. ~Douglas Pagels

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